Piranha (2010) *1/2 out of *****

Director:  Alex Aja ("Haute Tension," "The Hills Have Eyes")
Writers:  Pete Goldfinger, Josh Stolberg
Cast:  Elizabeth Shue, Jerry O'Connell, Ving Rhames, w/ Christopher Lloyd & Richard Dreyfuss

It's spring break in Arizona and everyone's out partying like douche bags.  Problem is, it's at a lake where an underground quake has just released a specie of piranha thought to be extinct for millions of years.  Cue the stereotypical "local law enforcement and expert scientists band together" team, and just maybe they stand a chance of saving the population from being completely devoured.
Extreme violence?  Check.  Gratuitous nudity?  Check.  High level of purely visceral entertainment?  Not so much.
"Piranha" isn't fun.  Sure there are a few death sequences that made me giggle, and more tits and ass than a cheap southern skin joint, but it doesn't add up.  A summer popcorn flick like this should be stupid, flashy, fast paced and exciting.  It's not (well, it is pretty stupid).  Actually, its quite boring.  All the ingredients failed to equate to an experience I enjoyed or would recommend to anyone else.  It doesn't take itself seriously, for even a moment which I can commend, but when blatantly ripping off other, better films, the least it could have done was reach a high level of unpredictable ridiculousness.
Everything about this movie is below average at best, and considering Aja's track record, I'm starting to lose faith.  The last 3 films he's produced have been remakes, and they are only getting worse.  What happened to that indie french nobody who blew me away with his first international release?  He seems to be drowning in a sea of mediocrity.
If you find yourself in a position in which every DVD on the planet has been replaced with a copy of "Piranha" then maybe give it a look see, otherwise, don't waste your precious and valuable time.  Life is too short.